harry potter: “albus severus, blah blah blah slytherin tootle toot fart noise you were named after the bravest man i’ve ever known”
teddy lupin: “hey uh… remember my fucking dad”
[albus arrives at hogwarts]
albus: “hello professor! did you know severus snape? my dad says he was the bravest man he ever knew”
neville longbottom: “is that fucking right”
the bible says adam and eve, not godzilla and mothra: the battle for earth.
*stops mid lick* are you gonna adopt me or
no but imagine the rawness of slytherin feminists
a bunch of practice nat doodles
— Asha Greyjoy, A Dance With Dragons (via scrlett)
WHERE’S THAT GIF OF THE JUDGE BANGING THE GAVEL AND GOING OOOOOOOOOOH
spooning is the best because i get to see how long it takes to give you a boner with my ass
Girls are evil for this right here.
girls are awesome
requirements: 10 years experience in space station repair, masters degree in ancient serbian civilizations, unmatched knowledge of silkworm breeding, full understanding of teleportation mechanics and physics
Nebula and Gamora: adopted sisters, daughters of Thanos.
imagine an american going to hogwarts determined not to live up to stereotypes and they do pretty well up until they discover their patronus is a bald eagle
B Y E
Am I allowed to tell this joke at parties??
She is so satisfied with that joke.
That is the cheesiest grin I’ve seen in a long time XD